


I Need Your Body (You Need Me Too)

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Louis, Canon Compliant, Coming Untouched, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Louis, Implied Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Nipple Play, Pining Zayn, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Post-Break Up, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Smut, Top Zayn, Unresolved Emotional Tension, but Louis and Harry are broken up, i guess, so I would also consider it kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 02:35:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “It’s fine. I should’ve fucking known. If I’m not good enough for Harry anymore, I’m definitely not good enough for you.”Any restraint Zayn had once had was gone now, as all he could think about was the urge to protect, to strip Louis’ mind of all these doubts and fears. “Not good enough? You’re perfect, Lou. You’re everything, and I’ve wanted you for so fucking long…”“Then show me.” He felt Louis’ hand grip his own, interlacing their fingers. “Please, Zayn. I need this. I need you.”And that’s all it took, because resisting Louis Tomlinson was all but impossible for most people, and Zayn was weakest of all.





	I Need Your Body (You Need Me Too)

Zayn stepped out of the bathroom, running his fingers through his still damp hair. Usually he showered in the morning, but it had been a long day of traveling, so he’d decided a second shower was in order. As he stood in the main portion of the dimly lit hotel room pulling on a pair of loose joggers he’d retrieved from his duffle bag, he had to admit the posh hotel room was - at least this once - a welcome change from the tour bus where he usually preferred to take sanctuary. It was refreshing to have the extra space, and he expected to have a very rejuvenating night’s sleep in the queen-sized bed later.

One thing hadn’t changed from his usual nights on the bus, though: he would still be sharing his space with Louis.

Zayn paused at the door to the hotel room balcony, watching Louis through the glass. The older lad was curled up in one of the comfy outdoor lounge chairs, looking impossibly small in an oversized jumper with the hood up over his messy fringe. Lou took a long drag from the cigarette that rested gracefully on his delicate fingers, then sighed a little, rolling his head back against the cushioned back of the chair. Zayn felt a twinge of something inside himself - an emotion akin to fondness but much deeper and decidedly sadder. It was feeling he’d come to associate with Louis but had resisted labeling and was frankly afraid to examine more closely.

Pushing emotion aside, Zayn resolutely opened the sliding glass door just enough to slip through and step onto the balcony. Louis didn’t so much as glance up, instead continuing to stare idly into the night, but Zayn could see by a slight change in his posture that some of the tension had lifted from his hunched shoulders. It was a testament to the bond between them that Louis was more relaxed in Zayn’s presence than he was when left alone.

“You alright, bro?” Zayn finally asked, sinking down into a chair beside Louis’. The night air was chillier than he had expected, making him very aware that he hadn’t put on a shirt, but he couldn’t be bothered to go back inside now. 

Louis was quiet for a long moment before murmuring a soft, “Yeah.” 

He was hardly convincing, but Zayn decided not to press the issue just yet. “Mind if I…” he motioned toward the pack of cigarettes laying on low table in front of them. Louis silently nodded, and Zayn retrieved one. He could feel Louis’ eyes on him as he twirled the cigarette between his fingers for a moment, then rested it between his slightly parted lips.

“Here,” Louis said softly, pulling a lighter from the front pocket of his jumper. For some reason he couldn’t consciously identify, instead of reaching for the lighter, Zayn leaned his entire body toward Louis, cigarette still dangling from his lips. Even in the relative darkness, he could see a ghost of a smile cross Louis’ face, and with a quick flick of the older lad’s thumb on the spark-wheel the lighter sprung to life. The flame flickered between them, casting a warm glow on Louis’ furrowed brow as he concentrated on lighting Zayn’s cigarette. Once the task was accomplished, Louis let the lighter’s flame go out, but Zayn could swear he still saw the heat of it in Louis’ eyes when their gazes met.

“Thanks,” Zayn said, his mouth suddenly dry. Louis nodded and curled back into himself, raising his own cigarette back to his lips. They smoked in silence for a few minutes, with Zayn resolutely ignoring the gooseflesh that was beginning to creep along his arms with each passing breeze. Louis needed to talk - Zayn could tell, could always tell, no matter how quiet the other lad might be or how inscrutable his expression. In fact, it was when Louis got quiet and still like this that he needed Zayn the most, and Zayn would always be there to listen, night air be damned. He took another drag and continued to wait patiently for the words he knew would inevitably come.

“I miss him.”

The words slipped from Louis’ lips as naturally as a breath, words Zayn had heard so many times in past months. The first time he heard them, they had been punctuated by gasps and sobs as Louis had cried in his arms after the breakup. Since then, Zayn had heard the phrase repeated with varying tones and emotion: sometimes angry, sometimes dejected, sometimes with an air of hope for reconciliation. It had changed as Louis had moved through the stages of grief, from denial to anger to bargaining to depression, sometimes all in the same night. But tonight, his tone was calm and flat, and Zayn felt a twinge of hope that maybe - just maybe - they were finally nearing acceptance.

“I know,”  he said aloud, searching Louis’ face for any other indication of his emotional state. “You’re doing so good, though, Lou. I know it’s not easy being around him so much.”

Louis shrugged. “The band comes first. We said that from the beginning. May be the only thing we still agree on.”

He was still calm - almost unnervingly calm, making Zayn wonder if he should be prepared for a coming storm. Instinctively, he reached out and briefly touched the soft cotton of Louis’ sleeve in a silent gesture of solidarity.

Louis finally spoke again. “I’m sorry I...I keep being like this.”

Zayn shrugged. “You’re hurting. I understand. And I’m glad you don’t feel you need to pretend with me.”

Louis chewed his bottom lip for a moment, staring at where his hands rested on his lap with what remained of his cigarette, then sighed. “Yeah, but I need to cheer up. Distract myself.”

Zayn raised an eyebrow. “You want to go out? It’s been a long day, but I could still...if you want…”

Louis shook his head. “No, it’s not that. The drinks and the parties and the clubs don’t fix anything, at least not for long. I still feel like shit after. It’s more like...I need to get laid.”

Louis looked up from his lap then, finally making eye contact, and Zayn drew in a quick breath. He watched as Louis blinked a few times, and even in the darkness he could see the way the older lad’s lashes brushed against his cheek and how his tongue darted out for a fraction of a second to moisten his lips. _Where the actual fuck was he going with this?_

Apparently realizing Zayn was too taken aback to formulate a quick response, Louis continued. “I haven’t been with anyone since the breakup, and before that...it’s been _years_ since I’ve been with anyone but Harry, you know? I just think that maybe part of why it’s so hard for me to move on is that I feel like...I can’t even really imagine myself with someone else.”

Zayn swallowed hard before finally forcing himself to muster coherent words. “Yeah, that makes sense. But if you’re asking if I know someone I could set you up with…”

“No,” Louis said quickly - too quickly - and Zayn felt a tremor run through his body. Surely it was just from the cold. And if his heart was beating a little faster, well...he wasn’t going to pay that any mind.

“No,” Louis repeated, softer this time. “I’m not the kind of person who can just...do that...with just anybody, you know? I mean, I wish I was. Believe me, I know I have options. I’d have to be careful of course, to keep word from getting out, but it’s doable. Or would be. It’s just...I don’t want that.”

 _What do you want, Louis?_ The question hung in Zayn’s throat, but as always, Louis heard the unspoken words between them.

“I need it to be someone I care about. Someone who cares about me. Someone I can really trust, you know?”

Zayn managed a small nod. “Yeah…I get that.” He did get it, and to be honest, he was a little relieved. The thought of Louis being with someone who wouldn’t take proper care of him, who wouldn’t really appreciate how one-of-a-kind Louis was - the idea made Zayn feel a bit sick.

The night air was still heavy with unasked questions, but Zayn couldn’t bring himself to be the one to break the silence. Instead, he watched as Louis brushed through his fringe with a few delicate fingers, compulsively ensuring that it was perfectly arranged (as if anything about Louis could be less than perfect). It was a habit Louis had when he was particularly nervous, and one Zayn found especially endearing.

Finally satisfied with his hair, Louis locked eyes with Zayn and tilted his head. “You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

“Say what?” Zayn said softly, playing dumb because he sure as hell wasn’t going to say what he was thinking and turn out to be wrong. _How could you rebound from something like that?_

Louis sighed. “I’m talking about you, you knob.”

He was trying to appear confident, but Zayn could tell otherwise by the way Louis was picking at the fabric of his joggers and trying not to chew his lip. And _fuck_ , if this wasn’t something Zayn had dreamed about on more occasions than he cared to admit even to himself. There had always been something about Louis that was both magnetic and electric, something that drew Zayn in and made him wonder what it would be like to have Louis beneath him...to make him squirm and whimper. But then there had been Harry, and Zayn had been so thoroughly friend-zoned throughout that entire era that he had forced himself to push those feelings aside, no matter how much they tormented his subconscious. Even now, with Harry out of the picture and Louis literally offering himself, Zayn was struggling to imagine _actually doing this_ , actually taking this step that would change the nature of their friendship forever, because even if Louis just saw it as a way to distract himself and let off steam, it would still mean _something_. How could it not?

“Well?” Louis pressed, eyes narrowing. “Fucking say something.”

Zayn’s mind was racing but the words came out soft and slow. “Louis...I’m honored but...I just don’t know if this is a good idea, you know?”

“Oh.” Louis spat the word out, and the hurt in his eyes cut Zayn to the core. “Yeah. I get it.”

“Louis…”

Louis rose and walked to balcony railing, turning so that Zayn couldn’t see his face. “It’s fine. I should have known better than to even ask. If I were you, I wouldn’t want me either.”

“What the...what are you fucking on about? That’s not what I meant-” Zayn hurriedly extinguished his cigarette and stood, moving toward Louis’ now-trembling frame.

“Just stop. It’s fine. I should’ve fucking known. If I’m not good enough for Harry anymore, I’m definitely not good enough for you.”

Any restraint Zayn had once had was gone now, as all he could think about was the urge to _protect_ , to strip Louis’ mind of all these doubts and fears. He turned the smaller lad toward him, feeling his stomach do a flip as he saw the tears welling in Louis’ eyes, and he knew he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Not good enough? You’re _perfect_ , Lou. You’re _everything_ , and I’ve wanted you for so fucking long…”

“Then why…”

“Because I can’t just be a rebound. Not with you. I...fuck...I don’t know how to say it…”

“Then don’t.” He felt Louis’ hand grip his own, interlacing their fingers. “Don’t say it. Just show me.” Zayn searched his face for doubt or uncertainty but found only sincerity and longing. “Please, Zayn. I need this. I need _you_.”

And that’s all it took, because resisting Louis Tomlinson was all but impossible for most people, and Zayn was weakest of all.

He surged forward, capturing Louis’ lips with his own, and was met with an intensity that surpassed his wildest imaginations. Louis tasted like smoke and strawberries and years of repressed emotion. Zayn extracted his hand from Louis’ grasp in order to press it to the small of Louis’ back, guiding their bodies closer together. He relished the feeling of Louis stubble against his own, of Louis’ body heat against his bare torso, of Louis’ arms looped tightly over Zayn’s shoulders as if he never wanted to let go. Their kisses grew ravenous, like starving men presented with a meal, feverish and insistent, their tongues intertwining and exploring one another’s mouths . It was everything Zayn had ever wanted, but also not enough, moving too quickly and too slowly all at the same time. Truthfully, his thoughts were a jumbled mess right now, knit together only by the repeated mantra of _Louis, Louis, Louis,_ and the ever-present sense of _finally._ All he could be certain of was that he never wanted this to end.

Louis moaned into the kiss, breaking into his thoughts and sending a jolt of arousal straight to Zayn’s cock. “Bed,” Louis whispered, and Zayn could only mumble his agreement, his mind now preoccupied with how to make the move without breaking the embrace. Suddenly inspired, he slid his hands down to Louis’ bum and lifted the lad easily, holding him close as Louis instinctively  wrapped his legs around Zayn’s waist. Moving carefully so as not to end this encounter before it had properly begun, Zayn walked them toward the door and maneuvered so that Louis could reach down and open it for them. Once inside, though, he wasted no time in getting to the bed and lowering Louis onto the duvet.

“Fuck, you’re so _fit_ ,” Louis said, his eyes glinting conspiratorially. He looked so fucking _sinful_ like that, laid out on the bed, even though he was still far too overdressed for Zayn’s liking. 

“Shirt off,” Zayn said automatically. Louis didn’t seem to mind the commanding tone - quite the opposite really, based on the way his breath hitched and how his cheeks flamed in the lamplight. He scrambled to sit up and pull his jumper and t-shirt over his head in one smooth motion, exposing his toned chest and arms to Zayn’s gaze. Zayn moved so that he was kneeling on the bed, straddling Louis’ perfect thighs. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered almost involuntarily, and for a moment he worried that he had said the wrong word - maybe “fit” or “handsome” would have been better - but his fears were put to rest by the way Louis smiled, his whole face lighting up in the way Zayn had always loved but hadn’t witnessed in months. “So fucking beautiful,” Zayn murmured, pressing his palm to Louis’ chest. Louis laid back obediently, far more compliant than Zayn could have ever anticipated. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

Louis seemed to smile even brighter, and Zayn leaned down to kiss him, slower this time than their frenzied makeout session on the balcony, but no less passionate. At first Zayn propped himself up on his elbows, attempting to support his own weight, but then Louis had his arms wrapped around him pulling him downward and Zayn gave in, letting his body pin Louis’ to the mattress.They had always been very tactile with each other, ever since the X Factor days, so this was far from the first time that their shirtless chests had been pressed together in a sustained embrace. Still though, this was far different than any experience Zayn had ever had with Louis. This time the _intent_ was different, and just that knowledge was sending tingles down his spine.

Zayn felt Louis shift his hips, and suddenly their clothed cocks were pressed together, causing Zayn to gasp and Louis to moan in the most delicious way. “Fuck, Zayn,” he murmured, grinding upward in a desperate attempt for more friction, and Zayn burrowed his face into the hollow between Louis’ neck and shoulder, tasting the sweetness of his skin. Louis sighed into the sensation, tilting his head to give Zayn better access, and Zayn responded by nipping and sucking a bruise into the delicate skin, cock twitching with interest as he imagined Louis walking around tomorrow with this mark of their encounter exposed for all to see. For _Harry_ to see - but no, Zayn wouldn’t think about him now, not with Louis splayed beneath him, cheeks flushed with arousal, so willing and ready. It was just the two of them now, and Zayn had been waiting so fucking long for this.

Louis’ hands were beginning to roam now, tracing over the muscles of Zayn’s back and down to his hips. When he felt Louis’ palms slide down to cup his bum, though, Zayn pulled away and stared directly into Louis’ startled (and startling) blue eyes. “Hands above your head,” he instructed, wondering vaguely what it was about having Louis like this that made him instinctively feel the urge to dominate and to command. Up till now, all his experiences with Louis would suggest the other lad _hated_ being told what to do, but this felt different, and based on the way Louis’ pupils dilated, Zayn’s instincts were correct. “Keep them there,” he added as Louis crossed his wrists above his head and rested them on the bed, and Louis mutely nodded, tongue darting out to wet his kiss-swollen lips.

Zayn was upright again, straddling Louis’ thighs, and while a part of him wanted to lean down and keep kissing Louis until the sun came up or they ran out of oxygen, whichever came first, he also knew he wanted to explore _all_ of Louis, and so he contented himself with letting his hands roam Louis’ torso, tracing the ink of his tattoos and his sparse dusting of chest hair. Louis gasped as Zayn’s fingertips grazed past one of his pert nipples, and Zayn smirked, _remembering_. Louis’ nipples had always been sensitive, something the boys had learned early on in the band and had used to their advantage to torment him. More than once Zayn had teased him in public, rubbing slow circles over his shirt until the little nubs responded and then grinning when Louis squirmed away in protest and unwanted arousal. But now, they were older and alone and Louis wanted it - needed it, even - and Zayn was more than happy to oblige. He scooted backward and leaned down to capture one of the nipples between his teeth, biting down just enough to elicit a squeak from Louis that was likely meant as a protest but only served to encourage Zayn’s ministrations.

Feeling Louis start to squirm more in response to his teeth and tongue, Zayn reached one arm up to ensure that Louis’ hands stayed in place while using his other hand to tease and tweak the nipple he wasn’t currently sucking. Louis continued to whine and mewl, rolling his hips upward desperately but only meeting air. After a few minutes, Zayn decided to give him some small relief. He released the now-swollen nipple from between his teeth and let go his hold on Louis’ wrists, murmuring a kind but firm “be good for me” near Louis’ ear before licking his way down Louis’ throat and sternum to where his faint happy trail disappeared beneath his joggers. Looking up through his lashes, Zayn was taken aback by how fucked-out and wrecked Louis looked already, without Zayn even having made proper contact with his cock. It exceeded anything from his fantasies, the sheer hotness of it. The knowledge that _he_ had caused Louis-fucking-Tomlinson to look like this - to _feel_ like this - and they were just getting started.

Zayn teased Louis’ waistband with his teeth, pulling it away from the skin and then allowing it to snap back with a satisfying pop. Louis groaned. “Zayn...please…” It was then that Zayn realized that he didn’t actually know what was going to happen here, exactly. He had been so lost in the sensations of finally having Louis to himself that he hadn’t bothered to ask for any guidelines or restrictions.

“Lou,” he said, making eye contact and swallowing hard at how blown out Louis’ pupils looked. “What do you want? I’ll do almost anything...I just need to know…”

“Fuck me,” Louis said without hesitation. “Want you to fuck me.”

 _Shit_ . Zayn had thought he couldn’t possibly get any harder, but hearing those words from Louis’ lips proved him wrong. “Okay,” he said, heart pounding. “Okay.” He grasped Louis’ waistband with both hands and Louis lifted his hips so that Zayn could pull the joggers down. He wasn’t wearing any pants - _of course he wasn’t, fans called him Tommo the Tease for a reason_ \- and so his swollen cock sprung free for Zayn to see and appreciate as he finished pulling the joggers over Louis’ ankles. He had seen Louis naked before, but almost always in the context of changing clothes, and never fully hard. The sight was breathtaking. While Louis on the whole was small and delicate, his cock was anything but. The length was about average, but the thickness- Zayn’s mouth watered involuntarily just from looking at it and imagining what it would be like to stretch his lips around it. Fuck, it was gorgeous.

Louis cleared his throat to refocus Zayn’s attention. “I’ve showed you mine,” he said with a mischievous smirk, and his meaning was clear. For a moment, Zayn felt a wave of apprehension twist in his gut. His size was perfectly respectable - slightly above average, even - but as bandmates, he was well-aware of the monster Harry was packing. That was what Louis was used to, and Zayn quite literally couldn’t measure up to that. Still, he pushed the thoughts aside as best he could and shoved his joggers and pants down in one smooth motion, exposing himself to Louis’ gaze. His apprehension faded to relief as Louis immediately licked his lips and smiled broadly.

“Fuck, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Zayn replied, but even though Louis’ voice was casual and fond and his words were more statement than question, Zayn couldn’t take the risk without being sure. Not where Louis was concerned.”Unless...if you’ve changed your mind…we can stop if you want.”

“No,” Louis said, and this time he was firm. “I want this.” They gazed at each other in the lamplight, anxiety still causing Zayn’s pulse to race even as he fought to maintain a calm expression, but then Louis spoke again. “Shit...Zayn...I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”

And that’s all it took, because suddenly Zayn’s need to kiss Louis breathless outweighed any doubts he may have had. He lowered himself so that their bodies were horizontally aligned, his thighs bracketing Louis’, and groaned as their cocks made contact for the first time. “Fuck,” Louis moaned, but anything else he had to say was swallowed up in the heat of Zayn kissing him even harder than before. Nothing had ever felt more right than this, their lips and tongues combining until Zayn couldn’t be sure where he ended and Louis began, their bodies moving in tandem to create the friction they both so desperately needed, but it still wasn’t enough. Zayn wanted more, wanted it all, and his everything was here for the taking.

Louis broke the kiss first. “Zayn..fuck...need you inside me.” Zayn nodded, because even as his brain swirled with all the things he _could_ do to Louis, all the things he longed to do - blowing him, rimming him, fucking into his sinful mouth - all that paled in comparison to his primal need to sink into that impossibly perfect ass he’d been dreaming about for years. It was only the thought of sheathing himself in Louis’ heat that enabled Zayn to detangle himself from their embrace and shift so that he was kneeling between Louis’ thighs, bum resting on his heels. His whole body was tingling from the loss of skin-to-skin contact, but he couldn’t help but take a moment to admire the view before him.

Louis’ flush had spread down his chest, and his cock stood at full attention. His wrists were still held in place above his head like Zayn had instructed. “So good for me,” Zayn murmured appreciatively. “Fucking perfect.” He let his hands roam over Louis’ thighs, wondering vaguely how it was even possible for Louis to be this ideal mix of soft curves and firm muscle. Then, sensing Louis was getting antsy, he slid his hands under Louis’ thighs and guided them up so that Louis’ knees were to his chest.

“Hold them there,” Zayn said. Louis raised an eyebrow, and Zayn quickly amended, “Use your hands.” Louis obediently uncrossed his wrists and moved his hands down to grip his thighs, effectively spreading himself open. Zayn looked down, getting his first look at Louis’ hole, and _fuck._ It was so fucking _pretty_. That wasn’t an adjective Zayn would ordinarily use for someone’s arse, but Louis was - in this area as in most things - exceptional. He was almost completely hairless here, which was really fucking hot in itself, and the perfect shade of pink. Zayn traced a reverent finger over his opening and Louis gasped, his hole fluttering beneath Zayn’s touch as if beckoning for more.

“There’s lube in the nightstand.”

Zayn chuckled. “Impatient, are we?”

“Fuck off,” Louis replied, but there was no heat in it. He sighed as Zayn continued to stroke his opening with a single dry finger. “Shit...Zayn... _please_.”

Zayn grinned and stood to open the nightstand. It was only with his hand wrapped around the bottle inside that the implication hit him. “Wait...you put this here?”

Louis made a sound somewhere between a whine and a growl. “Yes, for fuck’s sake Zayn. Are you going to use it or keep asking questions?”

“You planned this,” Zayn murmured in wonderment. “You actually…”

“Tried to seduce you, yes. Foolishly thought you’d act on it.”

“Oh, I’ll act on it,” Zayn replied, settling back on the bed and uncapping the lube. “You won’t even be able to walk straight tomorrow. Wait and see.”

“‘Wait’ seems to be the operative word,” Louis grumbled. “Will you please just... _oooooooh.”_ His words turned to a moan as Zayn pressed a lubed finger against his hole, massaging the ring of muscle and slowly gaining entrance. “Oh my god. Zayn…”

“You’re so fucking tight,” Zayn said, breathing deeply as he slid his finger in to the second knuckle. “Fuck, Louis. It’s…”

“Been...a long...time…” Louis gasped as Zayn began to fuck in and out of him with long strokes. “Feels so...fucking...good though.”

Zayn smiled, eyes moving back and forth from Louis’ face to where his hole was clenching and unclenching around Zayn’s finger. “Looks good too, babe. Taking it so well.” He slipped a second finger in beside the first, smiling more broadly as Louis whimpered from the intrusion. Louis’ cock looked almost painfully hard, twitching against his stomach as if begging for attention, and Zayn decided to help take the edge off. With the hand that wasn’t busy fingering Louis open, he grasped the lad’s cock and began jerking him off.

“ _Fuckkkkk_ ,” Louis moaned, his grip on his thighs loosening a bit as his head rolled back. He tried to say something else but it was rendered unintelligible by his strangled sob when Zayn swept his thumb over Louis’ tip to gather the precum that was pooling there. Zayn smirked and continued to pump Louis’ shaft while scissoring him open, relishing every whimper and moan. His walls and his cock were so velvety and hot that Zayn was beginning to feel intoxicated from it, not to mention the heady scent of arousal in the air.

“Zayn,” Louis gasped, squirming in Zayn’s grip. “M’ready.”

Zayn released his hold on Louis’ cock and gingerly eased his fingers out, wiping them on the bedding. “Right. Hold on.” He started to stand to retrieve his wallet, but Louis suddenly produced a condom from under the pillow above his head. Zayn stared, and Louis grinned.

“Just wanted to be prepared,” Louis said, and he was _such_ a little shit, but Zayn really couldn’t bring himself to respond. He was too focused on the fact that, after years of fantasies and hidden feelings, he was finally about to fuck his best friend.

He put the condom on quickly and added more lube. Then he moved into position, aligning his cock with Louis’ hole. He looked down into Louis’ eyes and almost forgot how to breathe. Louis was always gorgeous, but he looked positively unreal right now, his skin practically glowing and his fringe somehow perfectly mussed in the sexiest of ways. A final twinge of doubt flickered on the edge of Zayn’s mind, but almost as soon as the thought occurred to him Louis was already addressing it, reminding him again of how deep the bond between them really was.

“I’m sure, Zayn. I want this. Want you.”

Zayn’s heart surged in his chest, and as he began to press forward, he leaned down to kiss Louis through any pain he might feel, tasting his whimpers and swallowing his cries as he stretched to accommodate Zayn’s cock. It was only once he was sheathed to the hilt that he drew back and looked into Louis’ eyes once more.”Okay?”

“Yeah,” Louis murmured, licking his lips. “More than okay. Wondering why the hell we waited so long.”

There was an obvious answer to that question, one that passed between them in the silence. _Harry._ It had always been louisandharry, with Zayn following behind, but not now. Harry had fucked up, and now Zayn had Louis all to himself, and he was overwhelmed with an urge to fuck Louis into the mattress and show him just how good it could be. Make him realize that Zayn had been there all along, wanting to love him, to hold him, to _fuck_ him better than anything he had ever experienced.

“Gonna make it worth the wait,” Zayn said, pulling back and thrusting in again with force. “Gonna make you scream my name.”

The rational part of his brain (with what little blood supply it had left) knew that with Louis being so out of practice, they should start gently, but the fact was he didn’t want to - didn’t want to have to hold back. Evidently neither did Louis; the room was soon filled with his chanted mantra of, “Fuck me, Zayn...harder,” punctuated by gasps and whines that were music to Zayn’s ears. He soon set a punishing pace, thrusting into Louis’ ass so fast and hard that the older lad had to grip Zayn’s back tightly to avoid being pushed backward on the bed. Zayn knew he likely had scratches on his back from where Louis’ fingernails were digging in, and _fuck_ , if he didn’t want to bear those marks forever.

He didn’t want to get too close too fast, though, so he finally slowed down, settling into steady rhythm and experimenting with his angle until Louis’ whimpers rose an octave, signifying Zayn was directly hitting his prostate. If Louis had looked fucked-out before, there weren’t even words to describe how he looked now. Sweat glistened on the ink of his tattoos, and his eyes had gone black as the night. It was like he was sex personified, and the needy sounds he was making went straight to Zayn’s cock.

“Fuck,” Louis gasped, suddenly pressing a palm to Zayn’s chest. “Wanna try something. Wanna ride you.”

Zayn couldn’t say no to that. He pulled out carefully, then rolled onto his back. Louis straddled him and sank all the way down in one smooth motion, enveloping Zayn’s cock once more in his tight slick heat.

Zayn stared up at him, taking in his beauty from this new angle. “Shit, Lou...how are you so bloody _perfect_?”

Louis smiled but didn’t respond. His eyes were closed, lashes sweeping across his cheeks, and his face was knit in concentration as he rotated his hips, trying to find the exact angle he wanted. It took a few experimental rises and falls for him to find it, but when he did, he gasped in delight, and Zayn squeezed his thigh in encouragement.

“Fuck…” Louis moaned, increasing his pace. “Fuck...oh my god. _Oh my god. Zayn._ ”

He was so fucking loud, and Zayn was living for it. He felt he could almost come from Louis’ words alone, just hearing him cry out in ecstasy. Perhaps it was sensing his own impending orgasm that compelled him to reach out for Louis’ cock, which was bouncing - neglected - in time with Louis’ movements. To his surprise, Louis quickly batted his hand away.

“No. Don’t. Want to come from your cock.”

Zayn suddenly felt dizzy. “You can do that?” He’d heard of coming untouched, and seen it in porn, but none of the guys he’d been with in the past had seemed able to achieve it.

“Yeah...think so,” Louis gasped, his voice still unnaturally high. “Close now. _Fuck_.”

Zayn was thrusting up to meet him now, and that was all it took to push him over the edge. Zayn watched in amazement as Louis’ cock spasmed, completely untouched, painting Louis’ stomach with ribbons of come. It was without a doubt the hottest thing Zayn had ever seen, and he might not have been able to stop staring had Louis not started to go limp. Zayn quickly sat up to catch him and then rolled them over so that Louis was on his back again and Zayn was above him. Knowing Louis must be getting over-sensitized, he let his cock slip from Louis’ abused hole.

“You can...keep going…s’okay,” Louis murmured, eyes still closed as he struggled to control his breathing, but Zayn was already pulling off the condom and tossing it aside. There was little time to lose; he was already on the verge of coming, and just looking at Louis like this - hole gaping, come smeared on his stomach - was enough to make him lose control. In fact, it only took a few quick strokes of his palm before he was completely gone, watching through an orgasmic haze as his load joined Louis’, mingling together on Louis’ perfect stomach.

“Fuck,” Zayn gasped, slumping back onto the bed. “Fuck.” Before he could say anything else, though, he was rendered completely mute by the sight of Louis delicate hands tracing the lines of drying come on his stomach. He swirled them together, then collected a sizeable amount on two of his fingers and immediately slid them into his mouth.

 _Holy shit_ . Zayn’s cock was completely spent, but it still managed to twitch with interest at the sight of Louis happily sucking their combined loads from his fingers. “So fucking _hot_ ,” he whispered, and Louis smiled, removing his fingers so he could speak.

“Want a taste?”

He was gesturing toward his still-messy stomach, but Zayn went for his lips instead, kissing him passionately. When he finally relented, Louis immediately curled into Zayn’s chest, and Zayn wrapped both arms around him, letting his fingers trace patterns down Louis’ spine.

It felt _right_ . Domestic, even, like something that had always been meant to happen. It had been foolish to doubt them - to doubt _Louis_ \- when all along they had always been so close, and this had just brought them closer. So many thoughts were swirling in Zayn’s mind: thoughts of Louis, of the future, of how this was just the _start_ , really, a preview of what they could become, now that they had taken this step.

Zayn felt Louis cuddle against him even closer before he tilted his head up and planted a small, impossibly sweet kiss near Zayn’s ear. “Thank you,” he whispered softly, and it was all so magical and overwhelming that Zayn didn’t even think - just let the words slip from his lips as naturally as air.

“I love you, Louis.”

Even after the words were out, there was a brief moment when Zayn thought the spell might be unbroken - that Louis might even return the sentiment. Then there was another moment in which his racing mind insisted that it wasn’t a big deal; they had said those words to each other a thousand times before, so surely this time wasn’t _that_ different?

But his pounding heart knew the truth - could feel it in the weight of the silence and in the way Louis’ body tensed by his side. Louis pulling away confirmed it. The way he chewed his lip as he stood. The way he began compulsively combing at his fringe with his fingers. The way he wouldn’t meet Zayn’s gaze.

He had gone too far. 

There was some irony in that, really - that fucking his best mate’s arse hadn’t crossed a line, but three simple words had. The irony was coupled with a vague sense of betrayal, because he and Louis had always been able to read each other extremely well, and so Louis _must_ have known how he felt - must have realized it from their first kiss if not before - and if Louis knew, and he didn’t feel the same, then why had he let things go so far? Why had he _initiated_ them?

Louis was standing by the side of the bed, stomach still covered with the evidence of what had passed between them but struggling to act unaffected nonetheless. “Gonna go shower,” he finally said, as casually as if it were just another night of playing video games on the tour bus. “And then sleep. We have those interviews in the morning, y’know.”

“Yeah,” Zayn said, fighting to keep any waiver out of his voice. “Right.”

Louis walked quickly to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Zayn rolled over to a dryer area of the bed and stared up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. When he heard the shower running, he finally mustered the wherewithal to slide under the covers and switch off the lamp, leaving himself in darkness and a sort of cocoon of his own misery.

Surely he couldn’t have ruined everything so quickly, right? Louis was just surprised, and was taking a few minutes to think. Soon he would be back, freshly showered, and then they could talk. They could salvage their friendship, at the very least,even if Louis didn’t have any feelings for him. They could fix this. _He_ could fix this. Had to, really, because if he had ruined things with Louis, there was nothing for him here. Certainly not in this hotel room. Maybe not in the band.

His mind was still racing when the water shut off, and a few minutes later he heard the bathroom door open followed by slow shuffling footsteps on the other side of the room. There was the sound of a suitcase zipper and a rustling that he assumed was Louis putting on some pants. He braced himself for whatever would come next - a whispered “Zayn, are you awake?” perhaps, or the sensation of the covers being lifted for Louis to crawl in. The worst case scenario would be the sound of Louis turning down the other bed, sleeping alone without even trying to resolve things between them.

What he wasn’t prepared for was the burst of light from the hallway as Louis opened the hotel room door and silently slipped out, letting it click shut behind him.  
  
  



End file.
